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Fire and Light

An Exploration of My Faith in Bahá’u’lláh

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Journal

Why I Believe in God

08/31/2018 By Barbara

Because I do. I always have. No one has been able to prove to me that He doesn’t exist.

Most importantly, I wasn’t taught to believe in God. If I had been taught, then I would still be a Roman Catholic. Truth is, my religious training was a bit weak.

My parents were not very devout. Actually, my mother was Catholic and my Dad was ??? We never discussed religion at home, but references to God and Jesus were common, just as they were in general public discussion. It is hard to remember that now when mention of God and Jesus elicit a wide range of reactions and so people don’t mention them much anymore.

When I was in elementary school, my sisters and I attended CCD/Catechism classes every Wednesday after school. I don’t remember much from those classes except being embarrassed once when I got Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr. mixed up (it was third grade).

When I was fourteen, I decided to find out what the difference was between the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church. My mother’s parents were from Russia and I wanted to know why they were separate churches. That is when I really started to learn about Roman Catholic theology. I also found out why I kept getting confused during mass.

Yes, I had heard about the Trinity, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. But when I read about how they were considered of one essence, I couldn’t understand or believe in it. One God, I can understand. One God in three pieces, no. During mass I kept getting lost. Were we praying to God or Jesus? It seemed, to me, that it kept changing as we went through the mass. But, if they are one, then it makes sense. Not much to me, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

Besides, to me that negates Christ’s death on the Cross. What does God or one-third of God care about being in this world? For an Eternal Being, thirty years of life on Earth is a snap. One day on a cross, even less. Actually, I would imagine He would be looking forward to getting back to the world of the spirit. Therefore, death would have no meaning for him and certainly would not be a sacrifice of any import.

When I was fourteen, I didn’t have anything to replace my religion, so I wondered around without a religion, but still believed in God. I thought that the various religions had bits and pieces that were very good and other bits that weren’t. I liked the Golden Rule parts, basically “treat everyone in the world decently.” I never liked the “non-believers will rot in hell” parts, especially if people had never been told about the religion in the first place. I never believed that God was as petty or as simple as most religions made Him out to be.

A God who could make this universe probably could handle a wide range of belief or non-belief. I also thought He could judge people on their character and what they did, rather than what they said they believed. After all, NONE of the religions that claim they are “the only way, everyone else is wrong,” is anywhere near being believed by a majority of people on earth. I figure, if there is only ONE correct religion, the chances of me being a believer is so small, that I am not going to worry about it.

I believe in one God. I believe He does love us and has infinite tolerance for the diversity of belief and behavior of mankind. And when we die, He will be able to judge for Himself where each of us belongs.

Filed Under: Belief, God, Journal

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